Vrush, Dimple & Khiana
Sobhag Haria Mr Dad
We all have our own very personal relationship with my father, whether he is the husband, father, grandfather, friend or someone to have been briefly touched by his presence. His impression remains on all.
He has inspired me and others in so many ways through the passionate love and care for his family and friends. He has always gone out of his way to help others.
I first got to know my dad when I was 11 years old. The first thing we ever spoke about was which dogs we like and how many he used to have in Nairobi.
His warmth towards animals and in particular dogs made me feel at ease and this shared interest instantly established a connection between us.
We moved into my dad’s Home (1 Kennedy Close, Hatch End, Pinner).
I remember the large garden whereas kids we could explore and enjoy in our safe surroundings. My dad built us a back room so we could have our friends over whenever we wanted creating further happy childhood memories and expanding our happiness further. When my friends visited, he made sure there was always plenty of food with my dad ensuring no one was left without. His friendly and hospitable nature provided an ideal setting and environment for people to feel welcome and relaxed. All my friends still recall him going and delivering us Maru bhajia nice and hot, these acts of kindness and generosity brought my father great joy. Friends often tell me they loved coming over having long talks with him, learning from his rich and colourful past.
Every Diwali we hosted an annual party at home, with many varieties of food and a grand fireworks display, all my friends would come for the event taking over the road enjoying one another’s company and celebrating as a family.
I remember there was a room specifically to watch movies in. Over the years he had collected many tapes and of his favourite actress, Juhi Chawla. If I am not mistaken, we still have some of her photos around.
I grew up in a great home with lots of positive people and influences around me.
I used to wake up in the mornings to hear my dad had invited everyone over for tea. He enjoyed everyone’s company, and importantly sharing homemade snacks and Dhamubens (Dips) biscuits.
He had an open house which everyone was welcome. It could be for tea, snacks or to offer his advice or support. We had so many of our family members living with us over different periods, my dad has helped many family’s settle in the UK by making sure they are comfortable living with us then securing a new home for their family to settle into. Making sure they have a car to get them started off to learn the roads and adjust to a new life. My father through his love of family taught us all the important of family and sticking together.
Over the next few years, I was struggling with school and needed additional help, those of you that know him, understand he gave me a clear plan of action to implement into my days.
What time I should wake up, have breakfast, read the newspaper then go to school.
As soon as we returned home I would have a snack do some further work and then of course what I did best, play time! (playing outside or watching tv). Everything was on paper clearly positioned on my cupboard, including my timetable which admittedly I initially did not understand. However, slowly with my father’s support and guidance, I understood the importance of a strict morning routine and a hearty breakfast enabling me to focus and achieve something positive each day. Reading the newspaper daily helped me improve my dyslexia and built my confidence.
We all need a sound platform and routine; his plan was successful, and I went to school with a new sense of purpose and determination allowing me to develop as a student and adolescent more efficiently.
Over the years watching him help so many people overseas and in the UK was inspiring. I am still learning from him his past and the empires he built with different types of businesses and most importantly those in need of help.
Learning to ride a bike my father would hold your shoulder or the back of the seat firstly making you feel safe. With his patience and teaching I was able to ride independently giving me a new sense of freedom (to watch people succeed was a true passion of my father). He did this with many people instilling within them a confidence they never knew they could achieve. Me and Dimple do the same with Khiana, and slowly she has got more confident and ride’s alone with her stabilisers, soon she will be riding without them.
When I got married, he knew that my mum had been dreaming of this day for such a long time he made sure we all had the greatest of time. We used to meet at their house every day for 2 weeks prior to eat with all the family and friends that came from aboard and ensured they had entertainment, such as group games my cousins organised.
In total we had 5 big events with all orchestrated my by father with an array of entertainment consisting of fireworks, belly dancers, a live band, food imported from Kenya, catering to suit all needs and requirements, with some obscure delicacies for people to taste too.
He also flew in our Family from India for the wedding so that they could see and enjoy a different wedding experience. He took them on a 4 day trip to Scotland and then to 12 days to Europe as some of them would not have been able to do it before. He made sure he went along with them to make sure they had an experience never to forget.
He would find inventive ways to keep our family together, such as taking us on holiday to different parts of the world and exploring alternative cultures.
Without him organising these I feel the family would drift apart. I thank him so much for making us feel a part of his world. This being his second marriage he has never treated us differently, always proud to introduce us to what would be considered not our “immediate family”.
We will forever be grateful to have such a loving and caring father.
When I (Dimple) was pregnant with Khiana I was very ill. He was very worried about me because I was often in and out of hospital. He made sure I would get anything I required. From my favourite homemade biscuits to making sure I was never alone at my doctor’s appointments. Once Khiana was born he was so happy and excited to play with her and as she continues to observing the different stages of her development.
Khiana and Dada love their phone calls and video calls.
I remember during the coronavirus pandemic he was telling us he was thinking solutions to send food to baa, masi’s and ourselves. He discovered a company that can deliver fruits and vegetable hampers therefore allowing families to stay in the security of their home. Additionally, he gave out sanitizers to help protect family and friends. This is something he normally did before the pandemic.
He also oversaw the delivery of boxes of mangoes and ladvas to drop off at family members houses.
This yet again demonstrates the compassion and selfless nature of the man.
His happiness comes from making others happy. Which is the only reward he requires.
His grandchildren mean everything to him. Khiana loves him deeply.
We cannot thank him enough for everything he has done for us, but we can tell him that the love and commitment he showers upon us
Lots of love Vrush, Dimple and Khiana
June 2020
