Shanil & Rekha
About Papa: From Shanil & Rekha.
Papa, or some of you may call him Sobhag Haria, Nana, Dada, Kaka, Mama and so on with the amount of connections and relations he has kept throughout his life, Which from my knowledge he gets from his father as he has told myself and my brother Vrush of the things his father has taught him which he has learnt and somewhat carried on traditions, one of which being his father would organise the weddings and ensure everything was handled and taken care of within the community. now if you take what he has learnt from his father and adapt it to his life it may all seem more clearer, Papa has taken it one or two steps further as I’m sure his father also did… Papa cares for all, he does not discriminate whether you are his children or even someone who he happens to have met while walking in a shopping mall or a waitress at a restaurant, All Papa needs from you is that spark or that “vibe” as you may call it and he is all hands in, some may read this and think he “he helped me and I don’t see that spark or vibe” you may not but he does… he has a special way of seeing this, His way is a way, we have never understood no matter how many years you may spend asking or wondering “how does he do so much? or why does he do so much?” all I can say is “it’s his way, it is what he does”.
Start from the beginning, at the age of 9, I came to London from Nairobi with Mum (Anju) and Brother (Vrush) in August 2000. We went to the now famous house Kennedy Close and I remember seeing it from outside and thinking “wow this house is so big” entering it I needed to go to the washroom so I went up the stairs which had a wooden bannister that was a tad shaky/loose nevertheless I went upstairs into the bathroom and even that was like a Wow factor for me, the bathroom light cord had what some people use to tie their curtains together, I was in Awe over this house and the attention to detail it had in every room which says a lot about the man who owns it, then comes Papa, Tall man who was cooking in the kitchen, made Khichi, which I had no interest in it as I was playing in the garden… Shortly after we went for dinner & Mum, Papa and Vish (Vrush) sat opposite to one another at Tree Tops in Belmont circle when the food was great back then… and I remember plenty of conversation which I will not go into detail about as my brother is mentioning that in his part but Papa was in my opinion a “nice man” when asked what I thought about him by mum… slowly we started to see him more often going to his office which was in Edgware above “Khaana Peena” which we later came to find out he had once owned and named it “Sheena’s” after my sister. Then one night stayed over which then ended up to spending nights at Kennedy close, I remember Papa and Mum calling us to the office to tell us they are planning to get married and what we felt about it and I remember think “nice”, I was 9! not much going through my mind… and then came the wedding at Harrow Civic Centre, I wasn’t feeling very well then as I suffer from Asthma and it was 9th December and the Cold does not suit me what so ever, so they got married at the Civic Centre we then headed to Hare Krishna for blessings and ended it at the Pub by Harrow view point called “The Case is Altered” having drinks and snacks for the afternoon period. At night there was a wedding Reception in Wembley, My asthma was still very active but I kept hiding it as I didn’t want to ruin the special moment, I remember we all had a great time cut the cake and Sushma Masi, Raju Kaka, Bhavi and Nidhi(Not even born then) were missing and a special announcement was even made to state we missed them at that point I saw a few tears flow. I remember that night as being the first night I saw my Nani and Nana dance, one of my fond memories was the neck tie like bowtie papa wore in Navy with one diamond stud and I always thought it was a real diamond, I guess I paid attention to fashion from very young now that I think about it. The night went on and we all had a great time apart from my Asthma, it kicked in with a vengeance because I had neglected it all day and I remember being rushed back home and sitting in the guest room area which had a swing and a full blown bar, with a bar light and hanging glasses, you may think papa had a serious care for alcohol but he doesn’t drink… well not anymore anyway. Back to my Asthma attack, I remember mum and Papa attending to me and seeing this side to papa and the concern and worry I saw in his face and you could say that for me that was the first glimpse of real worry I had noticed in him because to me he was just “a nice man” well with addition as he is now whom I refer to as papa and he is a mystery in terms of what he has accomplished.
So to sum up my above paragraph papa managed to meet Mum in August, propose to her (tell her were getting married because he still hasn’t “asked” her), September got me and my brother into school (Grimsdyke School year 5 for me and year 7 for my brother), got mum a car and got her driving (Mercedes Benz C180 peacock colour – Mum went from a Nissan Sunny in Nairobi to a Benz!) October he went to Nairobi on his own, to meet my Masi, Masa, Fua, Fai, Kaka, Kaki, Dadi and the rest of the family, emptied out our flat in Nairobi and sold all the goods, then went to Zanzibar to meet my Nana and Nani to sort out their home and paperwork to get them to come to the UK all on his own without ever meeting anyone (brave), November he rested – probably not knowing him he did more paperwork for more family & planned the wedding and December they got married… Breathe! please for a moment think about how much he is accomplishing in such little time for people he had not even known 6 months prior. People don’t do these things! but he does!
Accomplishments, Papa has accomplished a lot, some may find it unbelievable, I can tell you I still to this day talk about what he has achieved and you could say “brag” about him and his accomplishments as a matter of fact I spoke about him literally 4 days ago (14th June 2020) and all the things he does, I myself find it hard to believe and question “how” but he did it and still does. Left Meru at a young age with not much money, Founded a factory which produced plastics, you name it he was making it in plastic – I remember seeing the factories (Kenpoly Manufacturers Ltd. And Packaging Industries Ltd. PIL) on a holiday and thinking wow who knew the plastic potty I used as a baby his company manufactured or the chairs we used at parties made from plastic his company manufactured which on the same holiday he went and donated chairs to my community in Nairobi in the name of my dad who passed away, all the chairs he donated don’t have his name on it but they have my Late father’s name on it, again Who does this? after Nairobi he came to London, had a clothes shop… then a restaurant and eventually nursing homes, he didn’t just start off with 1 to learn the industry he went and bought 3 at once, he never said he can’t, he always did what he wanted and still does and achieves the result he wants, That is a mere brief of his achievements, he has done countless amounts of social work for communities, One famous thing he did was the Gandhi Exhibitions all from his own pocket non profitable simply to educate and show the love and passion he has for Mahatma Gandhi.
Papa, why do myself and my brother call him Papa, because he said “dad is what you called your dad in Nairobi and that’s how we should continue to remember him as” What step father (which I don’t like to refer to him as) thinks that far and deep about the term “dad/papa/pops/father”, Yeah not many but Papa does which already says so much about him.
My obsession for fireworks, now that is something special and expensive… every year 3-4 months before Diwali I would sit on the computer and watch endless videos of fireworks, Papa new my obsession and he would take me to Meera Paan House in Queensbury to buy fireworks and it was like a Kid in his own candy store except it was fireworks, papa would spend Thousand or so pounds on fireworks for myself and my brother all to have a big party with my friends and have it all disappear in 2 nights, But he knew those were all memories being created back then I never saw it like that, now I know… Memories, That’s what he created not 2 fun nights. since understanding that I have mentioned to my Girlfriend Rekha, when we have children we must do the same for our kids as papa did for me because it has to be one of many amazing memories I will forever cherish, Unfortunately we are too grown for him to now buy us fireworks and sadly we no longer live at the famous Kennedy close house to be able to have such parties.
Kennedy Close, the famous house, which holds a dear place not just in the hearts of the people who lived in it but everyone and anyone who visited it… Kennedy close was a Home to several people. It always had its door open, always had people in it… our friends would come and hang out there without me or my brother even being home at times because papa and mum made that home feel comfortable for everyone. It was known as the place everyone wants and wanted to go to, papa welcomed everyone and would go out of his way to make sure everyone had an enjoyable time, one example my cousin Harin would come and stay during the holidays, Me and my brother had our red and black Giant branded bikes but sadly Harin never had a bike… so Harin would not feel left out he went and bought Harin a bike just so when he came over he had his own bike which we still talk about, Normally you would just be told to share but with papa everyone in his opinion should be able to have a fun time TOGETHER.
Together – Important word papa if you ask him, did you know he chooses to tell himself he is perfectly comfortable in economy class even though I have seen him struggle because he has long legs, he can afford to sit in business or first but he won’t, ask him why? Because he wants us all to sit and be together, he will forever deny the fact he is uncomfortable but I have seen it, him reading this right now he is in denial and I can assure you of that, I just hope its making him smile. Papa does yearly family holidays and its simple, he asks everyone where they want to go and what they want to do he is there to make sure everyone stays together, if it wasn’t for him we would probably not be as close to our family as we are, he brings us all together makes us all want to see each other and spend time with each other, no matter what the expenses, just be together is what he says.
Money or financial help is not all that he does although it may sound like he financially helps all of the families and helps then get settled in and so on, but that is one factor… he has been a huge help to many other family members who have needed other help without them even knowing they need help, I am speaking of mental health, he has recognised when certain people need education or assistance with their mental health and he will go above and beyond to make sure your mental health and physical health is good, whether it be flying back and forth from counties to help someone see a doctor in another country or flying someone home to see their family as it may help their mental health or even just going to the doctors with someone so they feel like someone is there with them and for them. He will go to whatever extent to make sure you are healthy and living a good life, Money is not the only way he helps, I have known people to have struggled with mental health and with his help they are happy individuals grateful for the way papa has made them feel.
Take it back to Kennedy close, me and my brother use to have our friends over every day and every night as papa built a room in the garden for our friends to come and hang out because he knew my mum worried when my brother was out, so the fix of that was to let everyone come home that way they were not out and we are safe indoors, I didn’t think of it that way back then but now we do and we understand, So me and my brother use to take advantage of that room we had no responsibilities and no routine to life and obviously that is wrong and one day, Papa sat me and my brother down and told us we have to move out of the house, in my mind “get out you’re kicked out of the house” it was a Wednesday night middle of the month and he said we have till the end of the month to pack up and move to a flat he also owned where we would have to pay bills, rent and taxes. Middle of the month on a Wednesday, we have till the end of the month to pack up as we were told, Friday… 2 days later, Mum walks into my room early morning and tells me start packing the movers are coming today. Friday night me and my brother had moved into our new flat and new life began from there on… Back then I was mad, angry, upset… not just at papa but the tax man too because he takes way too much money! Anyway, in those furious times I used to say papa kicked us out! now I say “Papa moved us out the house in a nice way, he moved us into another place to live and learn” for which I am forever grateful, I am currently 29 and I can assure you had he not made us move out the family home I would still be sitting in my Shisha room with my friends not having any plans for my future. What he did in a moment where we thought he got fed up was in reality a long-term life lesson of responsibility and of becoming adults.
Papa may come across as a hard exterior, strong person but while he is strong minded and very positive he has a soft side, as everybody does, but papa’s soft side gets the better of him, he does not have the ability to say the word “no” to anyone that asks him for something… whether he thinks it’s right or wrong of you to have what you are asking for he will do what he can to let you have what you asked for and not many people have that in them and as positive or negative that may be I hope to be able to be like him in the slightest of ways.
As mentioned before he does not just do things for family, he will do what he can for anyone, and you hear a lot of families or kids talk about their parents as “they do everything for everyone” no this is not just a phrase this is a statement, a fact… I am not here to name names but he has helped people who he has not even known for a day! and when I mean help I do not mean a simple meal, no I mean a roof over their heads making sure they are safe and have everything they need within that moment and for the future. My Masi and the family… Moved them from Nairobi, the process was not easy! but he made it happen, he got my masa a working permit visa, brought him to London employed him under the nursing home as a nurse in Liverpool, and in-case of authorities he even rented a house and fully furnished it so it looked like my masa was living there in Liverpool, so to sum up there is a house in Liverpool which is fully furnished which is taking monthly rent payments all for show? yes! exactly, that is the extent papa will go to help people and family… now I can assure you my Masi and cousins have an incredible life in comparison to what they had back in Nairobi which is of by help of papa in my opinion, sadly my Masa passed away but papa did all he could to help my masa while he was unwell, another simple act of his “normal” nature.
To sum up Papa is not a simple person as much as he likes to claim he may be, he gets involved in far too many things where he may struggle and not sleep but he will ensure he completes whatever he has put his mind to, and all he wants in return is a smile and at most a “thank you” and I promise you, papa will be so happy! One thing I would like to add, Papa has never wished bad on a single person, yes he may get mad and may say something to upset you but all within reason, Papa as I like to say it is Misunderstood, if at points you have been offended by him you have in my opinion misunderstood him and his actions. just as me and my brother did when we were wreck less and now, we thank him!
And on that note, thank you Papa for being you and looking after everyone and being the great inspirational person, you are.
Rekha: Sobhag Uncle, or Uncle as I call him as he is my boyfriend Shanil’s dad. Meeting uncle for the first time was really nerve wrecking as he is Shanil’s dad, however I have learnt how much of a nice person he is and how much he cares about everyone! When he sets his mind to something, he always follows through with it, for example this website he has created about his life, journeys and experiences.
I felt so welcomed into the home and he made it feel so easy meeting family for the first time because of his way of interacting and warm welcome.
In the past three years of knowing Shanil and his family: I have seen uncle help many people including myself. One of many times he has helped me and one of the most grateful experience is when I had just finished my tattooing course, I had completed it and just got back from Kingston to the their house where uncle and aunty had sat for dinner and asked me how my course went as we were away for 2 weeks staying in the hotel, once I was done telling them how my experience was aunty told me that uncle has decided that whatever tattooing equipment I need to get started he is going to pay for and they told Shanil to begin ordering my equipment, I did not know how to react but cry as that is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me, he didn’t do it as a gift he did it as a way to get my career started as being a tattoo artist is my career choice and from then on he always asks how my process is going, he even offered to pay for additional courses for health and safety and other requirements I may need, That in it self-shows how much he wants everyone around him to succeed and he gets happiness from everyone succeeding.
He takes the family on holiday as Shanil had told me in the past, as I was just getting to know the family and only met them a few times Shanil and his family were all going to Tanzania for a wedding, and without even knowing me enough he paid for my ticket and when my mum returned the money back they gave it back to me and told me to keep it for my future. We went for the wedding in Tanzania for Shanil’s cousin Jital where I met the whole family from Tanzania and London, The wedding was in Zanzibar which was a wonderful experience me especially as I had never been to Africa and Uncle had organised for us to spend time in Dar es Salaam and Zanzibar where the wedding was held at Sea Cliff Hotel once the wedding was over Uncle ensured we rested a few days and enjoyed the facilities at the hotel when everyone had gone back from the wedding he then organised for us to go and stay in the heart of Zanzibar known as Stone Town, where I got to know about Anju aunty and her history growing up in Zanzibar with her sisters. This for me felt like I was part of the family as I was educated about their past.
I then started to learn that he enjoys being around family and friends; He would spend so much time and effort creating plans on spreadsheets of the “event or holiday” may consist of which would make you feel excited as you knew what was to come with everyone being together.
In 2018 we traveled to Mumbai and Goa because uncle wanted to show me the wonderful parts of India that I had never seen before. Before the trip he knew the reasons for why I didn’t want to go back, but he insisted in taking me as he could not believe I didn’t like India based on my previous experience. We started off in Goa where we visited old Goa in Bainguini, where we visited Saint Frances Xavier Church and went on a boat trip to see dolphins, from there we visited the Vainguinin Beach and Panaji-miramar beach where we had coffee and saw a beautiful sunset. During this trip we stayed at the Pheonix Park Inn hotel which was in Candolim minutes away from the highstreets filled with restaurants, souvenir shops and bars where I really enjoyed every moment of especially walking twenty minutes down the street together to go eat Indian street food at Kalaish Parbat where I also found out that uncles favorite street food is Pani-Puri as well as it is mine too. We then stayed a few nights at the Lalit Hotel in South Goa where we just enjoyed the quality time together at the hotel and did a day trip to the famous Leela hotel for drinks followed by lunch.
We made our way to Mumbai where we stayed at the family flat in Versova Andheri West and traveled around to parts that I would not have imagined to be in India, The best part was the Indian street food at Ram or Shyam served from a cart on the street, Sandwizza sandwiches in Santacruz, Bademiya Choteiya in old Mumbai and doing Fireworks for Diwali; Uncle also held a big family party in Mumbai where everyone enjoyed drinking and eating a variety of different foods which I hear he organise’s every year that also shows how much of a family man he is. Because of him I can now say I love Mumbai & Goa and can’t wait to visit again.
Uncle enjoys making everyone else happy… That’s what makes him happy. People may find that hard to understand but it’s his thing! It’s what he loves.
I personally enjoy cooking and baking, learning new dishes; I enjoy it even more knowing that uncle and aunty will try it and hopefully enjoy it. During the lockdown of 2020 I have been able to learn and cook new dishes; Uncle would and still does enjoy taking photos of everything that has been made and sending the photos onto to everyone on WhatsApp, which he would then be excited to try and knowing that makes me feel happy as you can see how proud he is of the cooking by sharing it. He also encourages me to try and cook new things and he never fails to compliment to make me feel even better.
He is a wonderful man with a big heart who is also very generous. He is very friendly and loving to those who are around him in his own unique way! He is very passionate about anything he sets his mid to and will do his very best to satisfy others.
Thank you, uncle, for everything you have done for me and showing me places I have never seen before! These last three years have felt like a wonderful adventure with you and the whole family and I cannot wait to be a part of more memories with everyone which you help create.
